Alright, I suppose all edits and adjustments have been made to the new website. My sister moved all her posts from blogdrive to her new website, but I'm too lazy to work on that. 'Sides, starting new is kinda refreshing. Will really miss this blog though. Been using it for 2 years, sticking to a default skin.
Right, so...I suppose if you want to, you can change the link directory to www.luzzio.com now. And thanks to all that have been reading for the past years.
*short note*
While driving home, I stopped my car because two animals were sitting in the middle of the road. One was a dog that could eat up Angel in a single swipe, while the other a kitten that could fit into my palm. I honked and only the dog budged for awhile, while the kitten didn't.
Cars behind started honking me(obviously they cant see a 5cm tall roadblock) so I tried to slowly drive the car around the little kitten. Could't see it in my rear mirror after passing by, so for awhile I was scared if my tires had claimed its life. Went back home and checked tires for kitten juice. Luckily, none. *phew*
What the heck was a kitten and a full grown dog doing sitting together anyway? In the middle of a street too.
It takes alot of guts and pride to accept or acknowledge the fact that one self isn't good looking. Forgive my ranting, but this page seems to be the only way of expressing it without feeling awkward talking about it with another person.
I know I'm not exactly above average in terms of looks. In fact, I'm below average. Ah, screw it, I'll just say that damn word: Ugly.
Yet at the same time, my life still goes on because I could hardly care about it. I'm really an anti social at heart, so it doesn't bother me that much that I'm, let's say, no where as good looking as Adrian(Dragon), or whatever.
My life is driven by passion. Passion for a girl I like, passion for writing, passion for many things. But it seems sometimes, that as creative as I can be, or witty, or no matter how much I can try, there's no stopping it.
Looks do count.
I've said it before...when I look at people, I don't judge them based on their features. Sure, maybe hanging out with a pretty girl would be nice, but that's the end of it. It's just eye candy. I love a person because of the way they talk, the things they like, the same things that make us both laugh. Their company makes me happy.
That's how I perceive the world. A friend once asked me why I didn't like talking to a certain person, she asked, "Is it because she looks horrid?"
No. Hardly. I dislike talking to some people not because of how they look. I am in NO position to judge whether a person is beautiful or ugly. Mainly, it's because I am not good looking myself. I listen to some friends talking when a girl walks by, where one person asks them to have a look, and the guys would go "Ech, not nice aso."
Take a frigging good look at yourself before you judge people by their features. Most of those girls have boyfriends way better looking than yourself.
But despite the way my thinking goes...and how little I care...there's a phrase that annoys me.
"You're only beautiful if you think you are."
Does that make any sense? Yes, I know that as long as I'm happy with myself, the views of what other people think, shouldn't affect our lives. But then again...as a human being, isn't the company of other people what makes us the happiest?
I try my best not to care, but it's hard when the world does.
I appreciate beauty, yes. The passion I feel for a certain someone is driven by the fact that she's the most beautiful person to me, in ways more meaningful than just a visual perspective. She's not perfect, but even her flaws seem to be extra points.
Sorry, that's a different type of beauty. It's not where I'm only talking about skin deep...I'm also pointing out the way I feel whenever she's near. The warmth, or little tingly sensation that goes down my back when she passes by and smiles at me.
To me, that is true beauty. It varies from person to person. And it just so happens that like quite a number of people, beauty has been personified to me in the shape of a person I know.
To me, only one of them is true beauty, and I wouldn't think much about the other one. It's funny how Jia Wen would think the same, only that the two people would be switched. Which proves the point of 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'.
Then I look at myself.
"I could hardly care. I know I'm not good looking. I know I have flaws. The flaws I can work on. The body I am excercising. Yet there will always be the embedded flaws on my body that I was born with. Shall I be able to say then, that I do not care? There's nothing that can be done about it. Or is there?"
Not many people are lucky enough to find love on both sides, though despite neither of them being perfect or exactly good looking, love blooms, and to each other's eyes..."That person in front of me. That's beauty."
Maybe I'm just a hypocrite. I judge people regardless of how they look, but am afraid of how others see me. I find myself shying away when I am among a group of people who are, let's say, above average in looks. I keep quiet...as if thinking, "I know my place."
It's wrong. But can we help it?
I keep asking myself that question. We can be as happy and content with ourselves as we like. But in the end, would we just remain a fool who stands alone, singing praises of himself?
I'm sorry if what I say doesn't make sense...but it's always been clouding my mind. Does it really matter? I truly understand the way people who go under the knife feel. We are told to be happy with whatever we are born with(or with some people, what 'God' gave us). Think of ourselves as perfect. Be happy.
Yet happiness is being loved. And how can one be loved... by himself?
That's the time I have left writing before I leave for school to sit for English Paper 2.
It struck me only recently that I can't be labeled a pedophile. It's because I, myself, am actually an underaged person! *gasp*. So does that mean if I had a relationship(sexual or emo, wtv) with a little girl of 5, I'm clean? I read up on pedophiles on wiki and it stated that while an elder that engages in sexual intercourse with an underaged girl(or vice versa), he would be prosecuted under the law EVEN if the underaged person had done it free willingly.
On the OTHER hand, two underaged people having sex with one another, nothing can be really done about it. Or maybe that's just in America.
The Star had a report about 2 years ago about a boy of 17(my age) had raped his little cousin of slightly less than 10. While her mother was downstairs watching TV, he brought her to the parents' room and sort of...uh...raped her. The mother only found out while bathing the small girl that she felt pains 'down there'. It became a police matter, but I'm not sure whether he was sent to juvenile prison or not.
That is the case of RAPE la, of course. Then again, don't tell me from 17 to 18 WHAM! You're now smart enough to know about safe sex. Oh look! Mervyn has reached level 18! Oh look, Mervyn is evolving! *plays Gameboy pokemon evolve music*. Mervyn has evolved into Level 18, legal sex maniac!
How dumb can you get? Obviously a child wouldn't know better with or without consent. In paper, it means that if I(e.g. only la) and a, let's say, 9 year old girl, decided to do it, her giving her consent, it's no one's fault legally since we're both immature and wouldn't know any better. And once I'm 18, my body on that instant would be mature.
Ish.
18 years old isn't any smarter or wiser than 17. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the legal sex age IS 18, isn't it? Or 21? If it's 21, why, even better! Why am I complaining anyway? I should be at the gates of some Kindergarden looking for a new girlfriend. I DO still have 9 more months till I'm 18.
And no, the embedded text in my header has nothing to do with this entry. I made it before posting this up.
Im very...very...very,...sorry for the lack of any posts worth reading lately. Exams and all, hope you understand. Besides, my social life's at a standstill, so no camwhoring pics with friends either. =(
I didn't sleep at all since last night, reading Sejarah till now(6.42pm).
On a happier note, I've planned the new domain to be www.luzzio.NET.
Doesn't have that 'oomph', but even kaizak.com is taken. So...*sigh*.
About 11am today, Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin was pierced by a poisonous stingray through the heart while filming an underwater documentary at Port Douglas. He was rushed to the hospital where he was pronounced dead later that day, from cardiac arrest.
Man, I loved his shows. RIP, Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter.
I think someone up there hates me. Or maybe some fat guy behind a computer buying up all domain names so he can sell them to people who REALLY need them for a high high price, thus giving him money to buy subscription for MORE porn.
Just when I wanted to buy www.luzzio.com, someone turned it into a search engine. A FUCKING SEARCH ENGINE.
I might be taking luzzio.net, but I suppose by tomorrow morning that'd be taken too. I sense foul play.
But .net doesnt strike the fear of god as well as .com does. Sigh. Maybe I'll use a different name... no more luzzio or something.
I hate my luck at times.
EDIT: I just received a transmission from the people who bought luzzio.com. They said:
"How are you gentleman? All your domain are belong to us. Make your time!"
And before i could reply "What you say?" they put down the line.
Freedom is being able to hang out at malls with friends without being restricted. Freedom is being what you want to be, and not doing what you don't want to.
Freedom is not having a care in the world, and living your life the way you want it.
But indepence is not freedom. Independence is the will and ability to stand up your yourself, and carry the burden the way you want to and feel fit like. Independence is responsibility with a minor pinch of freedom.
So yeah, here's to Independence Day.
I don't love the goverment, but I sure do love this country.
I was up till about 6.30am teaching Sandy how to photoshop. Went back to sleep after reading abit of SlamDunk manga online (http://mangavolume.com) at about 6.50.
I woke up at 7.00pm. Shit. AN entire studying day gone. Guess I'll have to pull an allnighter tonight. Well, at least I'm done with Sejarah T_T
My mom and sister left for Kedah on Thursday. Since my dad was in Vietnam till Friday, they INSISTED that my grandmother from Malacca come all the way to Selangor just to BABYSIT me. I mean, hello? I'm a 6'1"(big) 17 year old(mature), CHINESE(resourceful) BOY(male. yes male)!!!
Do I look like I need babysitting!??!
I mean yes, maybe in Form 1 I'd cry when I wake up and find that I was the only one at home, afraid that ghosts would start crawling out of mirrors or dark bathrooms to haunt me. I wouldn't be able to cook, clean up any mess that the dog makes, or close all the doors securely.
But I'm 17 now, and I KNOW how to call Pizza Hut or McDonalds delivery. I KNOW that the doors have to be locked before I sleep. Basically, I'm grown up.
Sigh.
It's no use complaining now. Kinda nice to spend some time with my grandma anyway. What really annoys me is that my sister and mom took the car with them T_T
My dad's car is here...but, I don't dare drive it. I originally planned to drive over to Amanda's house to say goodbye before she leaves, but since there wasn't any car on Thursday, I had to walk. And yes, quoting Amanda..."it really sucks, huh? Just getting your license and all?"
Well, at least the excercise was good. But the sun sucked. I hate Malaysian weather.
