3:46am. I can't sleep. I don't know why, but I kept believing Zakwan, and expected a call from her or something.
...It's all clogging up my mind, and I break down more often then I've ever had. She's leaving, I tell myself. She's really leaving, and there's nothing you can do about it. I feel weak, as if drained of any spirit. Writing this down in my blog seemed to be the only comfort I have.
I stayed up this late, expecting a call. Friday would've been the last chance. She's attending a party tonight...
I still don't even know if she's watched the movie...or already watched it, but declined to comment.
My feelins are so mixed up, and I know I'm not the only who is sad about her leaving. Someone told me time doesnt matter. But he's wrong. I've proved that I truly do have feelings for that person. I may have my mood swings, my breakdowns, and most of my friends irritated with me...but I still stayed true to the one purpose.
I don't give a fuck about what you guys think. The feeling of being around her is great, and just knowing her as a person is ecstasy. No mere words can describe ow it feels. Both sadness and joy. Both regret and hope.
I sit and count the days. I count them every morning, as I wake up, and look at the celing. Each time, a day closer to when I'll never see her again. I dread sleeping.
I didn't have much planned today. Was woken up by Sufern to watch Charlie Chocolate Factory something. I can't get the ruddy song out of my head.
Willi wanker, willy wanker, there's no one just like he. There's so much generosity~
It wasn't a bad show. Not worth is if you've got other shows, but not bad nonetheless. I was expecting to be as silly(and dull) as The Cat In The Hat, but it wasn't. Too bad Violet turned so fat. I was hoping her clothes would be ripped off when she inflated. Hot hot.
Nothing to blog about today.
...I've nothing else to describe the situation it's been for the last 3 years, except this phrase.
"For she is the moon, And I the wolf that sighs beneath her beauty" - October
Manda dropped by school today to pass Li Ching something. It was probably the last time I'd ever see her, or hear her voice. Yet I didn't dare talk to her, or even reply her.
'Why?' i asked myself.
I guess i knew that if I talked to her today, it'd be harder to get over it.
So...I just pretended I didn't notice her...and went about as usual. Sigh. She said goodbye to me, but I didn't reply.
...the project I've been working on for 2 months was finished last night, and it's actually a DVD movie for her. I passed it to Li Ching. Hope manda watches it...
Nothing to blog about today too, so I'll just post some pics I took in school today.
Sabrina Ong. I just realized I don't know her full chinese name. Hold on, asking her now...
...she said she dont wanna give
Khe Chun. We were going through what English names would suit her. I suggested Samantha, but she said it was only meant for pretty girls, her not being one -.- girls...
And here we have a xiao Xiao Yu. Mata sepet =p
I don't think this picture does Hui Yin much justice. Anyway the fei chai next to her is Boon Heng.
Khe Chun and Colin, the Sigma King.
Xiao Yu and Wan Tan. Or is it Tan Yang? Wan Yang? Ah wtv.
The three chinese boys and girls in our class. I'm a malay, you see.
Bang!
Amazing. A picture of my crappy face in contrast with Khe Chun.
Jo Lynn shows her opinion on the goverment on Rafidah's issue. "Blek! not interested!"
Cool Nima, Crazy magical Zakwan, and Poser Saufi. We got the brownies here.
LOL. See no Nima, say no Zakwan, hear no Saufi.
Misliah! =)
Avineh, Nimalan, Hijaz, Saufi, Khe Chun and Jamie.
It belongs to Zakwan... big and bouncy.
Haih...when I smile my face turns into a PAU...T.T
Take one Home today!
Pic of the day:
Boon Heng is making Jade cry! Omg, what's going on? Gossip!
I can't believe myself. I've actually finished my peka for Addmaths and Bio.
Probably the gayest little thing you've ever seen made from a guy.
No updates today too, since I'm more busy enjoying what's left of my weekend(17 minutes). Sigh, life is short. We're so busy working hard for a good life in the future., that we never even get to enjoy it.
Pic of the day:
Sufern's Com, the Compufridge! Filled with MEGA BITES of tasty ddrham!!! Yes I know my
pun's are cheesy! Haha, get it? Cheesy! Hahahahaha -ah nvm.
p/s: Kaizak is NOT real. He's just a nickname I use for boring entries.
Luzzio has decided to create an alter ego for his blog entries, and thus I was born. He wished to realize that there is a difference between the both of us. We are the same person, one being, yet so different from one another that you would think we were not.
While Luzzio represents emotion, be it laughter, sadness, or hatred, that would be done by him, with his own style.
Yet...I am different. Was the soul purpose that I was created just to satisfy his taste for a variety of writing styles...and just to be forgotten, never again used once bored? We shall see, won't we?
Hmph. Luzzio is different from me in many ways besides petty facts like joking or mocking. I remain, unlike him, neutral, and ignorant about others. My name was adapted from the character in his novel, Luzzio's alter version from the limbo world.
No com shall be down,
Or he'll kick them out of town!
That's why the Sigmains sing,
That Colin is our King!
After a gruelling 5 hours, Ooi Hong(Colin) has finally fixed my com, the final solution being the use of double sided tape. =) for a gruelling 5 hours, I had no idea what his technical words meant, so I just nodded yes and 'uh-huh'.
Apparently this was the problem with my com overheating so much. Dust, dust, dust had gathered all over the heatsink. Kekeke.
Thanks Ooi Hong =) And thanks to him, you guys ain't getting an update tonight, cos I'm off dotAing!!!
YES! I can finally finish amanda's project without a prob!
Pic of the day:
See, fat.
ps: Seems we have a foreign flamer in our blogosphere lately. Give him a scolding if u can, k?
Lai: I find it hard to look away from you recently.
Cass: Eh? Why so?
Lai: Remember how you keep telling me how flat you are?
Cass: ...yeah???
Lai: I don't think they are now.
Cass: Ahahah! Remind me to be weary of u. And besides, it's the bra that makes it look big...
Lai: Issit? Hmmm
Cass: I'm flat...dont deny it.
Lai: Sigh...why do all girls say that...?
So, uh, what IS it with girls and their boobs? Before you start raining me with flames about sin and all that bullshit, I must say that I have Cass's full consent to write about this and also, its about girls in general being too self conscious.
I told Pei Yi she's pretty, and she said she was ugly. I told Cass she wasn't flat, and she said she was. I told Amanda she wasn't fat, and she said she was fat. I tell girls good things about them, and they deny it.
Why? I would usually say they are humble, but I don't think this is the case.
First of all, I for one, LIKE girls who aren't skinny. A little puppy fat around the waist and(including various other body parts),in my opinion, is cute and sexy. I have no idea what causes other, or rather the majority, of men to like perfectly slim and thin girls. I mean, when it's cold at night and you need someone to hug, the girl you'd love to hug would be like a blanket. If she's too thin, it's like hugging a thin blanket, and you're just too cold. But one that has some flesh at least, is just so huggable and lovable in my opinion. Of course, if that girl was a trucker, I'd rather not even be near her. But a little fat is fine. =)
Ah, back to girls and them being so concious about their bodies. Sometimes, the reason I like to stare at Cass(or any other girl la) while sitting next to them, is NOT BECAUSE IM LOOKING AT THEIR BOOBIES! No. On the contrary. You'll come to realize that I DONT fall for girls on the spot. Ha, you may think i'm bullshitting, but I like a girl for her character. And it's only AFTER I fall for that person's personality, that I start admiring their body. Believe it. Because, think of it this way. All girls will grow old and become ugly in the end. So, if you go for an okay looking girl with a good personality, at least you'll just end up with an ugly grandma but with a good heart in the end. BUT, if you married a beautiful girl just for her looks, (she wants everything her way and is a spoilt bitch), then you'll end up with a fugly old grandma who is ALSO a bitch.
Nice ugly grandma or bitchy ugly grandma? You decide.
I've heard many times from girls, "i'm on a diet.". Now, really, how many people actually mean it? None, I suppose. First of all you're secondary school girls. What IS there to diet about? Your hormones are raging, and all that you eat gets turn into something sexy and seductive ;). Of course, eating TOO MUCH is not good for your health, but you still shouldn' deprive your body of the nutrients.
I've so much to say, yet so little time. Manda's work again. Anyway, on the last note.
If I was in love, it'd be because the girl is beautiful in the inside AND the outside. I don't fall for looks alone. Besides, i'm an ugly mug, can't be picky now, can I? ;)
So girls, stop caring about your body so much. It's the nice boys you want to attract, right? Well, nice boys don't go for looks alone. It's mainly your character that matters...
