If there's something I hate more than flamers, it's frogs.
Especially crazy frog. Axel 5 was SOOOO mainstream at one point that anyone who listened to it was deemed "Retard". Eh...look below the frog's belly. Holy shit, it's got a penis.
Anyway, 5 Sigma will be disecting FROGS tomorrow. Green, slimy, yucky frogs. Ech. I'm sorry, I KNOW every creature is special, but I JUST CANT STAND ANYTHING THAT'S SLIMY. I wreak at the thought of holding something like it on the palm of my hands. Basically, I'm afraid of insects(my worst case being having a rhino beetle on my head in Frazer's), and frogs(where in primary school, a boy stepped hard on a live toad, causing it's guts to blast out of it's mouth. Eyes popped. ew T_T).
=(((((((((( howwww/?????? I might faint tomorrow.
And killing anything bigger than the size of my thumb is a no-no for me =(
My parents often use her as a 'good example'. Like how my mom always says "Che che wouldn't do something like that. Che che would be more tactful. Che che this... che che that."
And really, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't.
She had 3 best friends during her very small years. I had none, and the only people I played with outside of the school, were hers.
She's a PTS, and I'm not. On top of that, she got ALL A's for UPSR and ALL A's for PMR. I got 4A's 1B, and 5A's 2B's.
She's popular among her friends, leads a happening life of outtings. I'm not, and dont.
She was in the school volleyball team, and a part of her time's 'volleyball gang', besides being an Interact Secretary.
I was never good at sports, and only had one year of post as Club Service Director.
She's got a steady boyfriend, despite it being a long distance relationship. I'm still confused with my own feelings for someone, even if that person will never like me.
She's likable, charming, and fun to be with. I'm disliked, moody, and boring.
And on top of all that, her blog has reached it's 100000th unique visitor, and my dad said she's going to be writing for The Star, and PAID, too.
This is my infamous E398. Why, it's been shown on this blog so frequent that I'm not surprised if it had its own fan club. Seriously.
But E398 decided to be a bitch recently, and malfunctioned it's USB capability. Bad E398. I oughta send you back to the shop for fixing. Yeah? Well maybe I should.
And so I did. After waiting outside the MotoService Center for half an hour, the doctor came out, holding the E398 in his hands, it's little heart beating slowly, and he said "It's gonna make it." Funny, I thought I was gonna be a daddy.
But once I got back, eager to upload my new craze song, Numa Numa(yes from chicken lil), I was dissapointed to see that my USB function was STILL not functioning.
So, lovable Hon Kit helped me get this:
A M-Card reader.
Just stick the memory card inside, and stuff the reader into a USB port. Simple.
This is my handphone's memory card. Yeah, that's my pinky finger. Yeah, it's THAT small. Plus the card is so thin I have nightmares of snapping it in half. =(
Being such a tiny card, it has to fit into an adapter before being able to fit into the M-Card reader.
Like that.
In it goes. Whoo!
I almost cried when I could access my Memory Card after a month. Not being able to change songs for so long really makes you HATE the songs that've been in there for so long. One more "You're beautifulllll" by Blunt and I'll crack.
Yes! Joy! Squeee!
=) I love my music. These are the songs currently on my phone:
Franze Ferdinand(Do You Want To, Jacqueline) Fort Minor (Believe Me, Where'd You Go) O-Zone (Numa Numa) Cold Play (Clocks, The Scientist) Nickelback (This Is How You Remind Me) Eminem (When I'm Gone) and about 6 Gundam Seed Songs. I'll add more soon, but these should do for now.
Pic of the day:
You know...Ben seems strange lately. There's something about those eyes that I don't trust. i suspect he's planning something... something cunning... something mysterious... something devious... something... EVIL.
Indeed, what hiatus? I was actually hoping to leave this blog unnattended for 3 weeks, but since the two problems have been somewhat 'resolved' and 1 week of not writing anything is more than what I can take, I guess I'm back. Miss me? No? Sigh.
Aight. I've pretty much picked the best time to put an end to my straying from the Ps2(which has been nearly a year), and it's a week from the monthly tests. Great. Ah, heck, these two games that got me back to the old black machine of love are to die for anyway:
Resident Evil 4
It's funny, cos the zombies can speak gibberish of what sounds like German, and look nothing like rotting corpses(except during the night, where they're bloodshot eyes glow an eerie red). I've found myself putting down the last 3 resident evil titles after about 3 hours because I got bored, but this game really took the cake for me. I've only played 5 hours worth of gameplay so far, but I'm seeing to it that this game is finished. That's how good it is.
The graphics may not be the best, but it's good enough to give you a feeling that "this is a great game". And really, it is. Plus, the fresh new gameplay rocks too. It also doesn't hurt that Ashley, the President's Daugther, is a checkered kilt wool turtle neck shirt wearing whiney girl. Me likey =)
The other game's Path of Neo. There really isn't much to say about this game, cos the following sentence pretty much sums it up:
I've been biting my nails for more than 24 hours, wondering "Has she received them yet?". Yet once I received an sms from her saying, "Thanks for the roses, you've made all the past valentines extremely memorable =3", I felt myself float to the clouds with joy.
And thanks to Li Ching, plus Aunty Betsy(though she wont be reading this) for helping me...
I don't really need much to feel happy and satisfied...just a few words. Valentine's wasn't so bad afterall.
Hmm Hmm...the First Valentine Gift I ever gave was in Form2. Strange to think it's been already 3 years since then, with so many things changed.
Anyway, thanks to Li Ching, Su Fern, Su Lynn, Jiale, Lianne, Pei Yi and Poh Nee for the roses, thanks to Cass for the chocies, and Sab for the sweets that never arrived(lol).
=) It's been a fun day, seeing Khe Chun, Li Ching and Cass receive their one dozen roses each, and topping it off with walking Sab home. The Interact Club outdid themselves with the big bouquets this year. Simply charming, and much better looking than last year's. Congratz to Pei Yi =p
I'd like to take pics of all the roses, but my cam isn't available*sigh*.
OMG...Xiao is a stick. I KNOW she was thin even for a girl. I've only seen her out of her baju kurung once, which was during a friend's farewell party.
The stick and the ball. Maybe we can both play rounders.
Anyway, I first thought "OK...she's quite thin. But still not thin until no shape. She's got a nice figure and a pretty face, I'll give her that. =) Probably the thinness is just an exxageration."
Naive as I was, I forgot that these Origins are people that actually go out often with her. So they KNOW what they are saying...when they say Xiao is super skinny.
Xiao spotted me today at Kenny Rogers while I was having dinner, and I almost choked on my pasta. That's Xiao!?
This is Xiao Yu in school. Notice that the baju kurung sort of floats all over her.
This is Xiao Yu when I saw her today. Notice I didn't draw the breast. Not because I'm saying she's flat(which she's not), but I just didn't have the heart to draw them for a blog =.=. Anyway.
My conclusion is that under the baju kurung, despite looking quite slim already, it is in fact, STILL floating over her. While the white top she wore when we met at Subang Parade, was body hugging, and I could see what she and her friends really meant when they say "Xiao. You're skinny."
Puffing up your cheeks with air wont make you look fatter, Xiao.
Hahaha, before anyone says anything, even I am exxagerating her being thin a teensy bit. But that's not to say I wasn't shocked when I saw her. Heavens. She's still an attractive girl though, and very the single. =)
One of Xiao Yu's New Year resolutions is to put on more weight, so here's how we can help. Belanja her everytime during reccess.
Often, I find myself tearing away from my friends, and sitting by myself in a corner. I'll put on a mask of hatred so that people will stay away for me. I do this not because I'm attention deprived, moody, or down. I do this because it's only by this way,that I can slowly calm down, and accept the fact that I'm never someone that is part of a group, fun to be with, or charming.
I sit by myself with arms crossed, face down, tears streaking down my cheeks because I know that crying to people would make me weak. And I have succumbed to that alternative many times.
I find myself crying onto the phone to Su Fern in the middle of the nights, screaming and crying because I really don't know what's becoming of me. What happened to the small little boy who could care less about jocks making fun of him, being "in" and most importantly, whether people disliked him or not.
In bed, I stare at the ceiling...gazing onto it's white emptiness, and drifting away into thoughts. Amanda's gone. I'll never have any chance with her. Whatever chance I had, little as it was, or never in fact, is now obsolete. How do you cope with knowing that a person you've poured your feelings to for so long, will no longer be part of your daily life? To see her everyday, her smile, laugh, and joy she brings to the people around her. "Sometimes...I really miss her." I told Colin once. He smiled for awhile, and after a brief moment of silence, "Yeah. Me too...".
I've been treading a route of loneliness and negativity for so long. It was what made me strong back then, because nobody liked me, and picked on me. Which was why I played on that, so that though they didn't talk to me, they did not bully me either. The aura I spread was that I was not a person who took jokes likely. It was all that kept me strong and breaking down to tears in my younger moments. And believe me, even with that attitude, I still fell to the pressure of being a loner.
As light and darkness co-exist beside one another, so did sadness and joy the same for me. I made friends, learnt to be more confident, but still could not let go of the old habit in which I'm addicted to. Liking somebody, was at first just a little fuss I made because I wanted to try how it feels to 'like' someone. Over the years, the frustration of never getting close to her, but ironicly, further instead, was like a nail thumping deep into my chest each moment that passed. And yeah, I'm sure if I was more friendly, talkative, less 'love-interested', we'd be quite okay friends. But no. I am a moody loner, un-charming, un-friendly, and worst of all, in her eyes, I was an irritation, like a mosquitoe constantly biting the back of her neck. The person with almost all the traits of someone you despised, likes you. I'm sure you can understand the feeling.
So is this just again, an old habit? A silly infatuation? Not because I have feelings, but because I just want to have somebody?
I thought over this amidst the pain and tears. And before I even came to a conclusion...
she was gone.
Now, as my classmates gather around the table as they always do, chatting about what-not...I'd always notice that someone was missing, like an empty chair. And her laugh could almost be heard...so faintly. I'd stop...tear away from the crowd...went back to my seat...put my head down onto the table...
and really, I'd cry. For not only the fact that she was gone for good.
But also because I never truly appreciated her when she was back here, or try harder to be a nice person. To know how she felt, and stop pursuing the lovely person that she was. We could have been friends.
And what saved me from the old days, became my own curse in the new.
